Miami in August

De-horde-ification

I saw my first Beth Moore video this past Sunday. When it first came on, I groaned inwardly and looked at my watch. She, her singers, and her stage look straight out of a televangelist set-up. And she’s very perky and says things like, “I am ECSTATIC that you are on this journey through the Psalms with me…. thanks so much for coming along, Dear One.”

But by the end, my eyes were undeniably moist and judging from the sniffles around me, I wasn’t the only one. Her message was convicting (in a “Dear One” sort of way). One of her more memorable lines was: “Every time you’re tempted to hoard, give something away.”

Which means I’ll be left with about three possessions by the end of the year.

But I’ve kept that piece of advice in mind during this impromptu Home 4.0. I’ve divested a couple dozen books, a dozen colored glass bottles, several picture frames, and a couple of trivets that I have never once used. Along with an old travel computer case that never really worked, one of the boys’ riding toys they no longer use, and one of our two college yearbooks. Oh, and a pair of Jonathan’s boxers that split up the back when I was carting stuff from one end of the room to the other. That counts, right?

I now have two boxes full of infant/toddler twin boy clothes that I refuse to part with until I find someone expecting twin boys. The outfits are cute on their own, too, but most are “similar yet different” just like fraternal twins. So, people, start having sex twice in one night (someone actually asked if that’s how a friend of mine became pregnant with twins, which technically speaking is possible, but…) or doing something very unnatural (my boys are the human equivalent of aspartame, you know), but do it fast…. I need the closet space!

Just a little bit of sarcasm

We’ve been debating whether or not to join an organic farm co-op this winter. I just received an email with details:

“The price is $630 for full shares, $375 for half-shares-plus a delivery fee based on your pickup site, (FREE at the farm, $40 for Dade, $60 for Broward, and $100 for the Keys), due to the crazy increases in energy costs (thank Bush).”

Thank Bush? Isn’t Bush in favor of drilling for oil in Alaska? Wouldn’t that bring oil prices down? But that would harm the environment, right? Which might negate the good the organic farm is doing.....

Hmmm, it’s all so terribly complicated.

The dudes of August

When we leave Benjamin alone on our bed to take a nap, he wiggles around and talks to himself until he goes to sleep.

When we leave Jonah alone on our bed to take a nap, he takes everything out of the drawers and shreds tissues until he goes to sleep. When I cleaned up the latest round of tissues the other day, he went into a panic and accused me of demolishing his “tissue truck.”

Each evening when the suns starts to go down, Benjamin says “it’s making dark outside.” If he sees a cloud in the sky he announces that it’s going to rain soon.

Jonah has this peculiar new habit. He says with a little grin: “I’m Johnny.” Then forces a giddy laugh. He thinks it’s hilarious. Maybe this is the way Johnny Carson started out, too….

I explained to the boys that the pastor of our church just spent a few weeks in China. We ordered Chinese take-out soon after. When it arrived, Benjamin asked if it was Pastor David’s food.

Jonah’s love affair with writing utensils continues unabated. He fell asleep for his nap yesterday clutching an unopened package of five mechanical pencils.

I told Benjamin I was toasting an English muffin for his breakfast. I also made one for Jonathan. Benjamin asked him if his was a Spanish muffin.

Jonah jumps. Here, there, and everywhere. Including down the stairs. So that he wouldn’t bash himself to bits, I told him to jump on the last stair only. So now it’s step-step-step-JUMP!

We put the boys to bed and began a discussion in the kitchen that was not that serious but got pretty loud. From his bedroom, Benjamin calls out “No fighting, Dada!”

Jonah had an out-of-the-blue episode of reflux after dinner (just like the doctor predicted). On the rare occasions that he is really hungry he can pack away an impressive amount of food. Then he laid back on a pillow to drink his milk while Jonathan read a story. Then the Puke-Fest.

Benjamin had a raging fever in the middle of the night. After giving him ibuprofen, he puked, like he always does after we give him ibuprofen at night. Completely un-phased, he turned to me and said: “I spit out.” Then he looked down and matter-of-factly stated “I spit out a strawberry.” And then a moment later with a trace of horror: “I spit out on Shirt!”